I'm not sure I want to do this anymore...
Blogging, that is. I was never really sure I wanted to do it in the first place...
I like reading other people's blogs. I really do. Sometimes I comment, if I feel I have something to add to the conversation. Usually I just read - and then I agree, disagree, laugh, feel, and think.
I've been blogging here (irregularly, to be sure) since May. I have some friends who blog, and they've encouraged me to join the blogosphere. I like the idea, but I've always been a little hesitant about having my own blog (Jen In China was different - I used that for the express purpose of keeping in touch with friends and family back home). Today I'm really wondering about why I'm drawn to blogging and yet so nervous about actually putting what I want to say "out there."
The catalyst in all this was this post by ireneQ, a woman whose blog I enjoy reading. She's a bit concerned about her parents finding her blog. I understand her concerns, and people had some interesting comments to make - and that got me thinking about my own parents, my family, my friends, and my beloved, and what they would think about me blogging. I haven't kept this blog a secret intentionally, but I'm not sure how many people I've explicitly mentioned it to. I don't know what they'd think if they somehow stumbled across A Faith in Progress - or if they'd even care.
I don't want to upset the people I love, either by compromising their anonymity or making them feel like I'm talking about them behind their backs. That is not my intention. Most of the content here relates to other blogs and stuff on the Internet, but now and then I delve into stuff that's a little more personal. I'm careful not to share too much information about the people I love (though I occasionally break that personal policy - by posting a photo of my niece, for example).
Some of the bloggers I read are very protective of their anonymity, and others aren't shy about sharing who they are. That's a matter of choice. I'm walking a fine line - I share my first name, where I live, and enough information about me that would make it reasonably easy if people really wanted to know figure out who I am. Is that fair to the people I write about?
All questions of anonymity, identity, and privacy aside, I often wonder about why I have a blog. Why do I feel the need to share my "journal" online? If I want to ponder things theological (which is what I say I want to do in my profile), why do I need to do it in a public forum? Why not keep a private file, or a regular old pen-and-paper journal? And if it's a journal about theological stuff, why mention the personal?
Of course, I'm going on a huge assumption here: that people actually read this blog. Do I want them to? And if I don't want them to, why keep doing it?
As per usual, I have more questions than answers. I need to think about this, long and hard, and figure out where I want to go with this.
posted by Jen @ 3:25 p.m.
4 comments
4 Comments:
My dear friend:
I speak as one who has the benefit of "real-life" conversations with you, too. All the questions you ask are valid. I hear what you are saying and I've been thinking about this, too.
My bottom line (just for today) is this: when we write, talk, and communicate, we enter into a communications cycle. Writing, talking and communicating publicly gives the opportunity for the cycle to be closed. In making sense to others, we can make sense to ourselves.
Do this because it makes you happy. Do this because people enjoy the quirky links you share. Do this because you are a wonderful person with wonderful things to share.
If it's stopped being fun, then free yourself from the burden. But know that your voice is unique and we benefit from what you share... of yourself and of your online finds.
Love,
JenBen
Thank you, JenBen. I appreciate your insights - and the boost of confidence. ;)
Right now, I'm not quite ready to give it up. It has helped to put the questions out there. I have no answers yet, and I don't know if I ever will. But, for now at least, I'll give it some more time.
Hi Jen, you don't know me, but I related to this post very well so I had to comment.
I think everything you're saying is very valid and you bring up a very good point about family and friends finding your blog. You do have to be VERY careful about what you say.
I speak from experience, because in the stupidness of my youth I had another blog in which I recounted some bad experiences at the hands of someone I trusted (a minister who was my superior). I did it because I needed to vent, but it was public. And even though I felt that I was fairly discreet about what I posted, the person it involved did not feel that way.
Of course, we were both hurt and embarrassed by it. And while the things I talked about were very important and needed to be dealt with by the leadership, I chose the wrong way to go about it. I still blog, but the blog that's really about my daily life is locked up on livejournal so I control who reads it and who doesn't. The blog I have here is about spiritual questions I have.
All that is to say that I use my blog to bounce ideas off of other people. That's a big part of what I enjoy about it. Everyone has to decide for themselves what is appropriate and what is inappropriate.
I like reading your blog so far, so I hope you don't quit. ;)
Hi, Canticles,
It's nice to meet you! :)
Thank you so much for your comments, and for your honesty. That sounds like a nasty, difficult situation to be in, and I'm glad you're still blogging!
I've been praying and thinking and praying and talking about this since I wrote that post. For now at least, I've decided to continue. I do enjoy it - especially for the purpose of bouncing ideas off of others, and the people I meet online. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home